Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Trending: 5 Epic Rap Battles that Need to Happen

In which I address online news, web content and trending issues.

As fun as AdapNation is and as much as I love writing reviews, I think that Trending is officially my favorite article series at the moment.  In addition to just being an absolute blast to write, it features an absurdly deep pool of topics to choose from every week.  Last week I covered Bob Chipman's new web series Really That Good and next week I'll probably focus on Lindsay Ellis' latest episode of Loose Canon.  On top of that, I already have installments planned featuring Dragonball Z Abridged, The Big Picture, Cinema Snob, Death Battle, Game Theory, Hilariocity, Honest Trailers, Movie Defense Force, Nostalgia Chick, Nostalgia Critic and Smooth McGroove.
Epic Rap Battles of History has been an internet favorite for years now, and for good reason.  Whether its pairing off Romney and Obama or Doc Brown and The Doctor, everybody loves a good verbal smackdown,

In a video released earlier this month, the group behind the rap battles called on their fans for suggestions for the six remaining episodes in the show's fourth season.  And while there are any number of battles that I would love to see - even the jokingly suggested Teddy Roosevelt vs Robocop from the video - these are without a doubt the five that are highest on my list.
5)  Bruce Banner vs The Incredible Hulk - The best rap battles have always been the ones that exploited a pre-existing rivalry or conflict between those squaring off in the videos.  This is why Goku vs Superman, Tesla vs Edison and Spielberg vs Hitchcock vs Tarantino vs Kubrick were such memorable episodes while nobody really cared one way or the other about Mario Bros vs Wright Bros.

The whole shtick behind Banner's character is that he is constantly at war with himself: struggling in vain to control the raging beast inside of himself: the one that destroyed his life and threatens the well-being of everybody around him.  A rap battle between these two aspects of his character would inherently draw upon that deep well of conflict, providing more than enough verbal ammo for either side.  I am especially fond of videos featuring transformations (Goku vs Superman, Doc Brown vs Doctor Who), and Banner vs Hulk would be another perfect example of this.
4)  Bill Clinton vs Hillary Clinton - Despite the series' name, Epic Rap Battles of History rarely feature historical figures.  Those that do often pair them with invented characters, such as the both Hitler vs Vaders, Columbus vs Captain Kirk and the aforementioned Mario Bros vs Wright Bros.  This leaves a huge swath of perfectly rapable rivalries largely ignored in favor of an equally deep well of pop culture pairings.

Not only would a battle between the Clintons be a perfect opportunity to dredge up the Lewinsky scandal and Hillary's perceived coldness, but Bill's realized presidency compared to his wife's failed run against Obama.  The issues are timely enough to have all happened during many viewers' lifetimes, and even the youngest viewers would be familiar enough with them to follow along.  It would likewise make an excellent successor to the similarly politic-themed Obama vs Romney video.
3)  J.R.R. Tolkien vs George R.R. Martin - There are few literary rivalries popular enough to warrant a rap video, even if there are plenty vicious enough to keep with the spirit of the series.  This one, however, seems is perfect for the web series, given the incessant popularity of the two authors' fantasy series and both stories' immensely popular cinematic adaptations.

Like Clinton vs Clinton, it would be a rare pairing of two actual historic figures, which is always welcome in the increasingly fantastical series.  The authors' stark differences in writing style, content, tone and inclusion of sex would all be great sources of musical insult and comparison, as would the innate differences between adapting them into films versus a television series.
2)  Batman vs Superman - With Dawn of Justice coming out early next year - potentially as early as six months from now - the showdown is certainly timely enough.  Like the previously suggested Hulk vs Banner, it'd be based on a highly popular comic cum movie, with a deep well of canonized conflict to dredge up along the way.

Even though Goku already squared off against Superman in Season 3, the series seems happy enough to redo Hitler vs Vader nearly every season, so squaring Kent off against a DC-branded opponent shouldn't be all that much of a stretch at this point.  And while Superman and Goku's rivalry was always centered around power in combat, Batman's rivalry with Superman was always the more iconic brains vs brawn: giving DC's flagship character a new angle to both attack and be attacked.
1)  Iron Man vs Captain America - You had to have seen this one coming, especially after reading the Batman vs Superman suggestion.  This is the Marvel-branded twist on that previous rap battle pairing, and would be awesome for almost the exact same reasons.  The rivalry is a popular one and will be prominently featured in the third Captain America movie next year.

But whereas Batman and Superman focused more on physical virtues - strength vs smarts - Cap' and Iron Man's conflict has a far more political edge to it.  It'd be like the love child of the Obama vs Romney video and the Goku vs Superman one: two superpowered titans verbally duking it out over civil liberties vs patriotism and hardware vs software.  We've even already gotten a sneak peak into their blooming cinematic rivalry in the first Avengers, itself a prime source for rap material.
So what Epic Rap Battles do you want to see round out season 4?  Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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